Dustin

Well I must admit that never in a million years would I have guessed how timely that quote I put up was.

Most of you probably already know this, but it's been weighing heavily on my mind this whole week, and I'm asking for your prayers. Last Saturday a classmate and friend of mine was involved in a horrible vehicular accident, and he died early Monday morning. Dustin was a freshman in pre-pharmacy, and we had a number of classes together. From the minute I first met him his joy and love for life were so evident, and they were contagious. In the little time I knew him we loved to goof off before and after class, talk about classes and instructors, joke about who knows what, and share stories from our Chi Alpha friends. He was a sweet man of God; one who loved to talk about Jesus, and who wasn't afraid to share his faith. And though we feel he was taken from us much too soon, my friend Steve (who knew Dustin even better than I did) said something last night that really put things in perspective. He said "As hard as it is, I just keep thinking, 'If it had been anyone else in that accident . . . ' If it had been either of Dustin's friends who were also involved, they wouldn't have been welcomed into heaven. Instead, God chose to take one of His own home."

Yes, it's still hard. It still stinks walking into class and not seeing Dustin's smiling face. I still miss hearing his teasing and laughter. But on the other hand, I have to be glad it was him, and not any of the others that were with him. And while we're down here pushing through the pain, he's rejoicing in the presence of his Savior.

So I'm asking you, please be praying for his family. They need to be lifted up and covered in prayer now more than ever. And please be praying for his friends here on campus; not only that they would find healing and rest in God's presence, but that they would be able to carry Dustin's legacy, and bring people into God's kingdom through this trial. We miss you Dustin, and we can't wait to see you again.

Quote of the week

"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

As you've probably guessed . . .

. . . school is back in session, and I really don't have time to write. But since this afternoon I'm stuck on campus 'til 5, I thought I'd give a brief update.

This month has been kinda interesting . . . but it's been sooooo good to be back on campus. With every passing day I am loving being here even more. I know I'm exactly where God wants me, and I am so content to be here with all the amazing people He has surrounded me with. One of my friends and I were talking yesterday, and at one point she said "I love school. Wait, no. I don't really love the school part; I just love being here. I love the campus, and all the people." That is so where my heart is. The homework part of school hasn't been too hard--though I have tests coming up next week so we'll see how those go--and I am LOVING being with my campus family! This week I got done with most of my homework over the weekend, and it worked out perfectly 'cause I have been or will be getting together with like 6 different people, besides small group, Chi Alpha, and just seeing people in the Union. :)

Yes, there have been challenges along the way--earlier this week was not a fun time, and I struggled a lot. But God is faithful, and I know He works all things together for my good. Here are the lyrics to one of my favorite songs EVER.

Nothing can separate
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails
I know I still make mistakes, but
You have new mercy for me every day
Your love never fails

You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night
But joy comes in the morning
And when the oceans rage
I don’t have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
And Your love never fails

The wind is strong and the water’s deep, but
I’m not alone here in these open seas
'Cause your love never fails
The chasm was far too wide
I never thought I’d reach the other side
But Your love never fails

You make all things
Work together for my good
Yeah You make all things
Work together for my good

~Chris Quilala

Per Hannah's request . . .

. . . Here are some pictures of me with my amazing friends during my awesome weekend in SD.

Molly, me, Leah, and Rachel

Megan

Carlina

Tori (one of my roomies for the weekend)

Tiffany (another awesome roomie)

I don't really have time to write about the trip, but suffice to say it was AWESOME!!!!! God's presence was there in a way you couldn't miss. The worship was intense, the teaching challenging and convicting, and the fellowship sweet. I got less than five hours of sleep each night, but it was so worth it, 'cause I spent so much time drawing so much closer to God and my friends.

Anyhow, I'm back on campus for another semester, and am super excited to see what God has in store for me. I'd really appreciate your continued prayers; it won't be long before I start the application process for the nursing program, and it's beginning to overwhelm me a bit. And also, for continued favor in my classes; I made the Dean's List last semester, and to have a chance of getting into the program, I pretty much need to do the same thing this semester. More than any of that, though, is that God would continue to use me in amazing ways, and that I would continue to be able to pour into the lives of those around me. And that I would continue to grow and be stretched.

New Year's Eve

This past New Year's Eve is one I know I will not forget for a long time, and I hope the memory never fades. We've gotten together with the same friends for NYE for a lot of years, so of course we continued that tradition this year. However, this year I had more fun than I have in a long time. My friend Hannah and I decided that, since we had NO pictures of us together, we were going to have a mini photo-shoot. So after supper and playing games with our families, we headed up to her room to have some fun. And boy, did we ever have fun. Apparently the whole house heard us laughing, and I could definitely believe that. At times we were laughing so hard we were on the ground crying. I think we took around 50 pictures, but here are some of my favorites.

Hannah looks like she's used to this or something; what's up with that? ;)

You've been hanging around my brothers too long.

Yes, that is a clown wig she's wearing with the Western stuff . . . don't ask.

Nothing is as encouraging as the prayers of a friend.

I've known Hannah since I was about five, but in the last couple years I've gotten to know her so much better, and I am blessed to be so close to such an amazing friend.

2010

My friend Amy wrote this earlier today, and I thought it'd be a good way to start this post.

"An optimist stays up 'til midnight on New Year's Eve to see the new year in. The pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. Personally, I was glad to see that both occured successfully."

I think that pretty much sums up what I thought yesterday, too: both relief at the end of last year, and excitement at the new year. Last year was quite the year, and I was ready to move on. It was a rather rough year, with my family having to deal with some trying circumstances. I think we dealt with more deaths in 2009 than we have any other year. We battled a major flood, and had to learn to overcome the stress and anxiety that caused. And I had to work through more changes and transitions in the span of about four or five months than I ever have in my life. And while that's not necessarily a bad thing, it was hard. But then again, I look at what God has done and brought forth through it all, and I must say it was also a great year. In the last few years God has totally thrown open the doors for campus to receive the hope of Jesus Christ, and seeing the fruit of my parents' labors has been amazing. When we first started hearing of the amazing ways God has been using Chi Alpha to transform students' lives, and how it's growing, and how the kids are so totally on fire for their Savior, God told us "You were a part of that. All the years you spent praying over the campus, pouring into students' lives, being My Light; this is the fruit of your labor. The walls are being torn down, and you had a hand in demolishing that stronghold." And now that I'm so deeply involved with Chi Alpha, and involved on campus, I can see it in an even greater light, and it's overwhelming to see God move in this way. It's overwhelming to consider that He would use us to help make it happen.

And of course I could go on and on and on about the last three or so months, and how they've pretty much been the greatest months of my life. I've grown more in the last two and a half months than I had in the last ten years. And I've been stretched more than I think I ever have. I have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams.

So, looking back on the year 2009, yes it was hard. But it was amazing. And for all the pain and confusion that we may have battled, I wouldn't trade it for anything, because I know that God has and will continue to use it to further His kingdom, and to draw us closer to Him. And that's all that matters.

So now the question is: What will we do with 2010? Will we continue to hold on to the pain and bitterness of the past, or will we hang on to Jesus with all that we are and trust Him to guide us into victory in the coming year? I don't know about you, but I am so excited for this year I can hardly stand it. I'm SO excited to get back on campus and continue to pour into people's lives, and see God move in mighty ways. I can't wait to see how He's going to stretch me and use me. Yes, I know there will be trials to overcome, but that's just it: we "overcome by the Blood of the Lamb." I'll leave you with one final thought. It's something I've been realizing the last couple of months, and while it can be hard, it is--at least in my life--so true.

When you ask God to teach you and stretch you: 1) He will always do it in ways you don't expect; and 2) He will often do it in ways you don't necessarily want.
But it's so worth it.

Transformed

I guess I really don't know what to say. To tell you of all that God has done in my life in the past three or so months would require explaining some things in a depth that I don't really want to go to. Let me just say that He has done so much healing and transformation that I can honestly say that I am not the same person I was when school started. The most obvious difference is the fact that, a few weeks ago, I came to the realization that I am perfectly content on the NDSU campus. That's so weird to say, because my whole life I've hated living here. I've known it's where God has called us, but that didn't change the fact that I still considered the Cities to be home. To fully understand this difference, I'd have to go into a lot more detail, but suffice to say I know that God has called me to the campus, and I'm perfectly content and satisfied with it. A couple of friends used to ask me, "If God called your family back to the Cities, would you want to go with them?" And I used to answer "Of course! I want to go back with or without them!" But now? I don't know what I'd say. My heart is so fully for the kids on campus that I don't want to leave it. I'm even looking forward to going back to school because I'm ready to pour into their lives again. I continually stand amazed at this, because not only am I content, but the anger I used to battle has been totally eradicated. There is such pure joy flowing from me that I can honestly say I know what it means to have the joy of the Lord as my strength. A lot of this change I know has to do with Fargo First, Chi Alpha, and one amazing girl God has used to change my life. When the semester started, I felt like I was, in a way, losing my family; but instead, God has extended my family. Through Chi Alpha I have been surrounded by amazing Christian girls who love their Savior and who love each other. I feel closer to some of these girls, in the few months I've known them, than I do to my friends I've known my entire life. And that leads to another change in my life. I have grown so much in my walk with the Lord this semester. A few months ago I started praying something to the extent of "God I want my heart to beat with Yours. I want my heart to break over everything Yours breaks for. I want my heart to burst with joy everytime Yours does. Open my eyes so I can see the way You do." And I'm finding that the closer I draw to my Savior, the closer I get to everyone around me, and the more love and joy start to flow through me. All I want to do is pour into the lives of the people around me, especially the girls He has given me at Chi Alpha. And you wouldn't believe how many times I've questioned this. It seems so backwards, but then, I'm the one that's had it backwards the whole time. I'll ask "God is this really how it's supposed to be?" It feels wrong, almost, to love those around me so much. Like I'm not loving Jesus enough or not focusing on Him or something, I guess. Sometimes I think He just shakes His head at me. Because for as many times as I've asked, His answer is always the same. "Andrea, when are you going to get it through your head?! THIS IS MY HEART! The closer you draw to Me, the more like Me you become, the more you're going to love people!"
No, it's not always easy. Of course there are still days that I struggle. This past month my family and I have dealt with some things that have been pretty tough, and there are still times when all I want to do is cry. Or scream and throw things around. But in the end God has carried me through, and He has filled me with such an intense love for my family (including my Chi Alpha family) that all I can say is it's awesome. People have always told me "You are so blessed." And yeah, I believed them, but sometimes it was hard to see. Now, every single day tears come to my eyes as I realize that "yeah, I am so blessed. So, so blessed."

This really only scratches the smallest surface of all He has done in me. I could go on and on, but it's hard to explain in writing. If you spend any amount of time with me, you'll pretty much hear about Chi Alpha nonstop, because that's where my heart is. And if you ask me about Tiffany, I could spend hours telling you all the ways God has used her to help walk me through some trials, to answer my prayers, to challenge me, and to just be there for me. She has been a blessing beyond anything I could ever have imagined or asked for.

Blogger has been really frustrating with uploading pictures lately, so here are a couple links instead.
Here are some pictures I took when I was bored over break.
Here are some family pictures from 2009, including some from last week.

Did you believe?

As he sought a safe and dry place for his wife to stay
Did your heart start to race as you began to realize
That this was no ordinary man, with no ordinary wife
Did your hands start to tremble at the thought
Of God Himself seeking your help?
Or did you simply see a woman about to give birth
A woman with no place to stay
And no place to lay her babe?
Did you believe?

Was the compassion you felt the same as it always had been
Or did it flow from you with such intensity
That you could not ignore the Divine nature of love
The love that was so beautifully shown that night?
Did you believe?

Did you show them to the stable and then turn away
To go and attend all of the others at the inn
All of those who demanded your attention?
Or did you look back a second time and wonder
At the strange way God would choose to enter the world
Did you believe?

When the baby uttered His first cry
Did you smile as you always did
When a newborn child wailed in the night?
Or did a shiver run down your spine
As you understood that you were hearing the very cry of God Almighty?
Did you believe?

As the shepherds came seeking a newborn babe in a manger
Did you smile in contempt at their crazy story?
Did you ignore the ruckus as they crowded the stable
Thinking it was only their foolish imaginations causing such an uproar?
Or did you follow them to the stable
Barely daring to breathe as they told of the angels
Of the message, of the sign?
Did you whisper your awe as you wondered
Why God Almighty would reveal Himself to lowly shepherds?
Did you believe?

When the wise men related their experience
Of following the brightest star in heaven
In hopes of seeing the coming King
Did you shake your head and discard the theory?
Did you tell them to look elsewhere?
Did you think them crazy as they began to quote Scripture
In defense of their quest for the Holy One of Israel?
Did you say “It couldn’t happen here”?
Or did tears begin to stream down your face
As you began to comprehend the fact
That this night was the beginning of redemption
Not just for Israel, but for all of humanity?
Did your heart burst with joy and humility
As you realized that God Almighty had chosen you
To help bring His beloved Son into the world?
Did you believe?

I'm done . . .

It's weird not being in class, and not having homework, and not being away from home, etc. You get the idea. I've begun to formulate a long post about the semester, but right now I have no motivation to sit down and write it all out. So maybe later. Or tomorrow. Or never. I don't know. But for now, suffice to say that I'm done, and I finished the semester with a 4.0 in all my classes. So getting on the Dean's List was a good accomplishment, though I will say right here and now that all credit for that goes to my wonderful Savior--He's the One who deserves all the honor and glory.
However, the GPA isn't the big story--it's what God has brought about in my life throughout the semester. Like I said, I may get around to writing about it. Maybe tonight, maybe not at all. But my God is amazing, and that pretty much sums it up.
Click here for a few pictures from finals week, as well as some that have already been posted here on the blog.

From the Inside Out

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
Should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

My heart and my soul
I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord
Let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine
When all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring
You praise from the inside out
Lord my soul cries out.

~Hillsong