Transformed

I guess I really don't know what to say. To tell you of all that God has done in my life in the past three or so months would require explaining some things in a depth that I don't really want to go to. Let me just say that He has done so much healing and transformation that I can honestly say that I am not the same person I was when school started. The most obvious difference is the fact that, a few weeks ago, I came to the realization that I am perfectly content on the NDSU campus. That's so weird to say, because my whole life I've hated living here. I've known it's where God has called us, but that didn't change the fact that I still considered the Cities to be home. To fully understand this difference, I'd have to go into a lot more detail, but suffice to say I know that God has called me to the campus, and I'm perfectly content and satisfied with it. A couple of friends used to ask me, "If God called your family back to the Cities, would you want to go with them?" And I used to answer "Of course! I want to go back with or without them!" But now? I don't know what I'd say. My heart is so fully for the kids on campus that I don't want to leave it. I'm even looking forward to going back to school because I'm ready to pour into their lives again. I continually stand amazed at this, because not only am I content, but the anger I used to battle has been totally eradicated. There is such pure joy flowing from me that I can honestly say I know what it means to have the joy of the Lord as my strength. A lot of this change I know has to do with Fargo First, Chi Alpha, and one amazing girl God has used to change my life. When the semester started, I felt like I was, in a way, losing my family; but instead, God has extended my family. Through Chi Alpha I have been surrounded by amazing Christian girls who love their Savior and who love each other. I feel closer to some of these girls, in the few months I've known them, than I do to my friends I've known my entire life. And that leads to another change in my life. I have grown so much in my walk with the Lord this semester. A few months ago I started praying something to the extent of "God I want my heart to beat with Yours. I want my heart to break over everything Yours breaks for. I want my heart to burst with joy everytime Yours does. Open my eyes so I can see the way You do." And I'm finding that the closer I draw to my Savior, the closer I get to everyone around me, and the more love and joy start to flow through me. All I want to do is pour into the lives of the people around me, especially the girls He has given me at Chi Alpha. And you wouldn't believe how many times I've questioned this. It seems so backwards, but then, I'm the one that's had it backwards the whole time. I'll ask "God is this really how it's supposed to be?" It feels wrong, almost, to love those around me so much. Like I'm not loving Jesus enough or not focusing on Him or something, I guess. Sometimes I think He just shakes His head at me. Because for as many times as I've asked, His answer is always the same. "Andrea, when are you going to get it through your head?! THIS IS MY HEART! The closer you draw to Me, the more like Me you become, the more you're going to love people!"
No, it's not always easy. Of course there are still days that I struggle. This past month my family and I have dealt with some things that have been pretty tough, and there are still times when all I want to do is cry. Or scream and throw things around. But in the end God has carried me through, and He has filled me with such an intense love for my family (including my Chi Alpha family) that all I can say is it's awesome. People have always told me "You are so blessed." And yeah, I believed them, but sometimes it was hard to see. Now, every single day tears come to my eyes as I realize that "yeah, I am so blessed. So, so blessed."

This really only scratches the smallest surface of all He has done in me. I could go on and on, but it's hard to explain in writing. If you spend any amount of time with me, you'll pretty much hear about Chi Alpha nonstop, because that's where my heart is. And if you ask me about Tiffany, I could spend hours telling you all the ways God has used her to help walk me through some trials, to answer my prayers, to challenge me, and to just be there for me. She has been a blessing beyond anything I could ever have imagined or asked for.

Blogger has been really frustrating with uploading pictures lately, so here are a couple links instead.
Here are some pictures I took when I was bored over break.
Here are some family pictures from 2009, including some from last week.