5 Love Languages for Techies

Though this was written with a humorous slant to it, this article has so much truth in it I can't help but think "If only people actually understood this." So. If you're ever looking to really - REALLY - show love to a techie, I would suggest going this route. Seriously. This fits me better than Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages. I've given a few of my own thoughts on each section of this article as well, which are all in brackets. Enjoy!

 

You’ve heard of the Five Languages of Love. Those are for normal people. For techies, a different approach is required.

by Mike Sessler 

Words of Affirmation

This doesn’t look different, but the implications are far greater. Most techies only hear words of dis-affirmation; “The mic’s not working,” “The camera is out of focus,” “It’s too loud,” “The light is in my eyes,” “It’s too soft...” the list goes on. The quickest way to a techie’s heart is to tell them they’ve done something well. This is good advice for anyone, but it’s important to know that techies are used to dealing with a barrage of complaints on a regular basis. Thus, any time anyone has anything to say to them, they are typically on the defensive from the start. In fact, I know some techs who never hear anything from leadership except criticism. I suggest saying a few positive things here and there; it makes it a lot easier to hear criticism when it’s appropriate.

[True. Words of affirmation is one of my top love languages, and as a techie, well... like the article said. It can be rough sometimes.]

Be On Time

This looks similar to Quality time, but it’s quite different. Most techies I know are First In, Last Out (or as we say in the trade—FILO). At our church, my tech team arrives at noon on Saturday, and doesn’t leave until everyone else is gone. On Sunday morning we’re the first in again at 7:30, and are still coiling cables long after everyone else has a table at Chilli’s. We show up early because we want to make sure everything is set up and ready to go when the band arrives making sound check and rehearsal as quick and productive as possible. Want to exasperate a techie who’s already been there since 7:30? Show up late, then take your time getting your station set up, then act impatient during the soundcheck process. It’s no fun to sit around for 30 minutes with nothing to do while waiting for the band to show up, especially if we’re blamed for sound check running long (and we usually are). Be in place and ready to go when you’re supposed to be and your techie will feel very loved.

[Story. Of. My. Life. Psalm 15 talks about the qualities of the one who can walk with God, and one verse says "he swears to his own hurt and does not change." In other words, you keep your word no matter the cost. And if you've agreed to the times for rehearsals, or meetings, or whatever, just be there.]

Decent Swag
Similar to receiving gifts, we like it when gear manufacturers show up with good swag, plain and simple. In the last few years, with the economy suffering, the quality of swag has gone downhill. This does not show love. If we’re going to spend a whole day on a show floor, walking around looking at gear and eating sub-standard convention center food, we want to at least take home some decent stuff. EV gave me a sweet little Leatherman mini multi-tool over Christmas. I felt loved. Yamaha gave me a really nice fleece coat. I felt loved. A pen with your company logo on it? Not so much. Unless it’s a Pilot G-2 .5 mm black. Then maybe. But I can get those at Staples. And it’s easy. So probably not.

[This would be my brother... :)]

Acts of Load-In and Load-Out
We techies do a lot of work. We move Steeldeck, road cases, cables, lights, speakers, mics, drum kits, guitar amps and so on. The guys and gals who work in a portable church setting are deserving of special recognition. The Bible tells us that many hands make for light work, and the same is true for what we do. If you see two guys pushing a bunch of cases in, ask if you can help. Please ask, because sometimes we have a system and your help doesn’t, well, help. Most times though, and extra set of hands of two can really make our lives easier. It’s also important to note that techies are not technically janitors, though that’s not apparent in our day to day lives. Almost every week we pick up bottles of water (most of them opened with .25 ounces missing--the classic one-swig per bottle), sandwich wrappers, broken drum sticks and various other detritus left behind by the musicians. If you want to share some love with your tech team, pick up your own trash.

[Or at least have some appreciation for the work techies put in to make bands/worship teams/pastors/etc look flawless.]

Food
Specifically, bacon. Forget touch, we like to eat. As I said, we work really hard, and we do so for long hours. Having a steady stream of food makes the tech booth a happy place to be. I know of one non-techie church leader who used to regularly bring the tech team treats, lunch, donuts, coffee, whatever (Jan, you’re a hero to all techies everywhere!). Do you think her tech team was happy and would do just about anything? You bet! Here at Coast, we have a great group of volunteers who bring breakfast every Sunday morning. A big steaming plate of bacon sure takes the edge of a 7:30 AM call time. We also have people bring in lunch and dinner during really big production seasons like Christmas and Easter. I can work 12 hours a day a lot easier when lunch and dinner show up at regular intervals.

[As a techie, I often forget that most people can't function if they're hungry. I've worked so many shows/concerts/etc where food just isn't an option where time is concerned, so we just go hungry. And usually it's so late when we get home at night that I would rather sleep than eat. Want to bless your tech team? Or your worship team, for that matter... Feed them. It makes things run a lot smoother when we're not hungry and tired because of an empty stomach.]

[This section holds my only exception to this article... Unlike many techies, I am VERY much a physical touch person. Rough night? A hug can go a long ways....... Trust me.]

So there you go. A few quick thoughts on how to show love to your local tech crew. A well-loved and appreciated tech crew will move mountains for you; learning their love languages is an investment worth making.

Family

Three years ago last week, a good friend of mine was killed in a freak accident. Dustin was a freshman in college, as was I, when he was hit by a car in the middle of a snow storm, and he died in the hospital a couple days later.

The raw pain I and so many others felt over losing him still rears its head sometimes. Like today. It's still hard to believe someone so passionate, so full of life, so full of the love of Jesus, could be taken so abruptly. It's a sobering reminder of just how fragile life is, and it's a challenge to constantly check my heart and ask the question "If this was my last breath, would I be okay with standing before God and giving an account for my life?" And it's a battle to keep an eternal mindset. To remember that, though it hurts today, and I'll miss him for as long as I draw breath in this life, eventually, we'll all be in the same place, for all of eternity.

I still miss him. I miss his smile, his majorly wacky sense of humor, his talent as a musician, his love for Jesus and for those around him... I can still see him playing on the drums, closing his eyes and zoning out, giving me that goofy grin as he purposely starts messing around with the beat of a song, just to see my reaction on the piano. I miss hearing the excitement in his voice as he talked about the dreams he had for the classmates he'd started bringing with him to Chi Alpha or church. This side of heaven, I don't think I'll ever understand why he was taken from earth, practically before his life had even begun.

But. In that awful week, I did begin to understand one thing. For the first time, I felt first-hand what it meant to be a part of the family of God. That week, and in the weeks following, God surrounded me with friends who, for the first time in my life, showed me the love and support I'd so often given to others. Throughout high school, I walked a number of friends through some pretty rough situations. I'd done my best to be a rock of support, and to always be there for them and just love them the way Jesus does. It never really occurred to me that someone would do the same for me. And not even just one someone. That week I had more friends pouring into me, loving on me, and just being there for me, than I ever could have asked for. I could tell you story after story of how my friends were Jesus with skin on to me.

And since then, that love has only become more real to me. I am continually astonished at the unconditional love I'm shown. I don't deserve it, and I don't understand it. But it sure makes it easier to understand the Father's love. And it also makes it a lot easier to pour it out into the lives of those around me. After all, that's what being a part of God's family is all about.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of all compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."
~2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Inheritance

Matthew 13:31-32
"He told them another parable: 'The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.'"

 If there is one distinction I have been learning about the difference between the world and the kingdom of my God, it is this: a kingdom-minded person will gladly build an inheritance. Their work is never their own, and they gladly push through obstacles so that their ceiling may become someone else's floor.

We read in Ecclesiastes 2 that the man living under the sun (i.e. apart from intimacy with God) gets ticked off when he realizes that all his work is going to someone else. "I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. And who knows whether that person will be wise or foolish? Yet they will have control over all the fruit of my toil into which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless." (Ecc. 2:18-19)

If we live with the sole purpose of fulfilling our own desires and dreams, it makes sense that we won't be happy when we realize someone else might benefit from - or even waste - all our efforts. However, if we start seeing our lives through God's eyes, we see an interesting paradigm. The entire point of our lives is to set the next generation up for an even greater revelation of God's glory and presence.

The thing about the seed planted in this parable is that the man who planted it would never see the final product. It would take years upon years for that seed to grow to the tree spoken of at the end of the story.  It may take three or four generations to see the full extent of fruit of your labor. Therefore, the question needs to be asked: Will you work for something you may never benefit from?

You know a man is kingdom-minded when he willingly and passionately builds an inheritance he will never see, for someone he will never know.

Righteous Man or Relentless God?

I recently heard a sermon that completely shattered my view on a person that I once considered to be a hero of the Bible.

That man was Job. When most of us think of Job, we think of the man who did no wrong, yet lost everything. One who remained faithful to God, and whose life was restored to him at the end of his days. However, if we dig a bit deeper, we find that that's not actually the case.

At the beginning of his life, Job did not know God. He was arrogant, self-righteous, and had no understanding of God's heart. Sounds a bit like someone else I know...

Don't believe me? Let's go take a look at Job 1. It says that he was blameless before God, that he feared God and shunned evil. On the surface, it looks pretty good. But if we look at the Hebrew roots of these words, we come to an interesting conclusion. The word translated as blameless or righteous actually means self-righteous. He prided himself on the fact that he did no wrong. The word used here for the fear of the Lord means just that: FEAR. Not the awe-filled reverence for His holiness; outright terror of God. And if we go a bit further down in the chapter, we understand why. Job didn't know God's heart. We read a story about how his kids would have huge celebrations all the time. Like, massive, leave-nothing-undone, no-wine-untasted kind of raging parties. And whenever they would finish, Job would get up the next morning and offer sacrifices to God for them, in case they sinned. Again on the surface, some may say "Well, Job was being a good dad, looking out for the well-being of his kids." But look at his actions. If Job truly understood God's heart, he would know that God desires obedience from the heart, not sacrifices.

We see this lack of understanding continue even after Job has everything stripped away from him. Instead of recognizing his own pride and seeking God's forgiveness and mercy, he basically shakes his fist at God and says "I want my day in court!"

Quite the switch from the humble, can-do-no-wrong guy normally portrayed, huh? Yet I see such a similarity to my own selfish heart in his story.

So you may be wondering, what is the rest of his story about? I believe the point of his story is simply this: God will do whatever it takes to bring you back to Him.

I mean, let's take a look at the rest of the story. God could have looked at Job's arrogant heart and moved on. Instead, He basically says "Hey, I love this man, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to bring his prideful heart back to Me." So what does He do? He starts baiting Satan. When Satan comes before God, He says "Hey, have you checked out Job lately?" And what is Satan's knee-jerk response to someone God's interested in? "God wants him? I'll kill him!" I love this. God uses His enemy to bring about a man's redemption. Though this seems to be a recurring theme throughout the Bible... :) So God allows Satan to strip Job of everything he has, everything he is. And for a while, Job's arrogance continues, but eventually, he comes face to face with the living God and falls down in awe of His mercy and holiness.

And at the end of the day, Job not only has his life restored to him, but he has his heart of stone replaced with a heart of flesh.

So my encouragement for you today is this: my God is relentlessly pursuing you. He will stop at nothing to have all of you.

That's how much He loves you.