Three years ago last week, a good friend of mine was killed in a freak accident. Dustin was a freshman in college, as was I, when he was hit by a car in the middle of a snow storm, and he died in the hospital a couple days later.
The raw pain I and so many others felt over losing him still rears its head sometimes. Like today. It's still hard to believe someone so passionate, so full of life, so full of the love of Jesus, could be taken so abruptly. It's a sobering reminder of just how fragile life is, and it's a challenge to constantly check my heart and ask the question "If this was my last breath, would I be okay with standing before God and giving an account for my life?" And it's a battle to keep an eternal mindset. To remember that, though it hurts today, and I'll miss him for as long as I draw breath in this life, eventually, we'll all be in the same place, for all of eternity.
I still miss him. I miss his smile, his majorly wacky sense of humor, his talent as a musician, his love for Jesus and for those around him... I can still see him playing on the drums, closing his eyes and zoning out, giving me that goofy grin as he purposely starts messing around with the beat of a song, just to see my reaction on the piano. I miss hearing the excitement in his voice as he talked about the dreams he had for the classmates he'd started bringing with him to Chi Alpha or church. This side of heaven, I don't think I'll ever understand why he was taken from earth, practically before his life had even begun.
But. In that awful week, I did begin to understand one thing. For the first time, I felt first-hand what it meant to be a part of the family of God. That week, and in the weeks following, God surrounded me with friends who, for the first time in my life, showed me the love and support I'd so often given to others. Throughout high school, I walked a number of friends through some pretty rough situations. I'd done my best to be a rock of support, and to always be there for them and just love them the way Jesus does. It never really occurred to me that someone would do the same for me. And not even just one someone. That week I had more friends pouring into me, loving on me, and just being there for me, than I ever could have asked for. I could tell you story after story of how my friends were Jesus with skin on to me.
And since then, that love has only become more real to me. I am continually astonished at the unconditional love I'm shown. I don't deserve it, and I don't understand it. But it sure makes it easier to understand the Father's love. And it also makes it a lot easier to pour it out into the lives of those around me. After all, that's what being a part of God's family is all about.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of all compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."
~2 Corinthians 1:3-5
2.12.2013
2.06.2013
Inheritance
Matthew 13:31-32
"He told them another parable: 'The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.'"
If there is one distinction I have been learning about the difference between the world and the kingdom of my God, it is this: a kingdom-minded person will gladly build an inheritance. Their work is never their own, and they gladly push through obstacles so that their ceiling may become someone else's floor.
We read in Ecclesiastes 2 that the man living under the sun (i.e. apart from intimacy with God) gets ticked off when he realizes that all his work is going to someone else. "I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. And who knows whether that person will be wise or foolish? Yet they will have control over all the fruit of my toil into which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless." (Ecc. 2:18-19)
If we live with the sole purpose of fulfilling our own desires and dreams, it makes sense that we won't be happy when we realize someone else might benefit from - or even waste - all our efforts. However, if we start seeing our lives through God's eyes, we see an interesting paradigm. The entire point of our lives is to set the next generation up for an even greater revelation of God's glory and presence.
The thing about the seed planted in this parable is that the man who planted it would never see the final product. It would take years upon years for that seed to grow to the tree spoken of at the end of the story. It may take three or four generations to see the full extent of fruit of your labor. Therefore, the question needs to be asked: Will you work for something you may never benefit from?
You know a man is kingdom-minded when he willingly and passionately builds an inheritance he will never see, for someone he will never know.
"He told them another parable: 'The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.'"
If there is one distinction I have been learning about the difference between the world and the kingdom of my God, it is this: a kingdom-minded person will gladly build an inheritance. Their work is never their own, and they gladly push through obstacles so that their ceiling may become someone else's floor.
We read in Ecclesiastes 2 that the man living under the sun (i.e. apart from intimacy with God) gets ticked off when he realizes that all his work is going to someone else. "I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. And who knows whether that person will be wise or foolish? Yet they will have control over all the fruit of my toil into which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless." (Ecc. 2:18-19)
If we live with the sole purpose of fulfilling our own desires and dreams, it makes sense that we won't be happy when we realize someone else might benefit from - or even waste - all our efforts. However, if we start seeing our lives through God's eyes, we see an interesting paradigm. The entire point of our lives is to set the next generation up for an even greater revelation of God's glory and presence.
The thing about the seed planted in this parable is that the man who planted it would never see the final product. It would take years upon years for that seed to grow to the tree spoken of at the end of the story. It may take three or four generations to see the full extent of fruit of your labor. Therefore, the question needs to be asked: Will you work for something you may never benefit from?
You know a man is kingdom-minded when he willingly and passionately builds an inheritance he will never see, for someone he will never know.
2.02.2013
Righteous Man or Relentless God?
I recently heard a sermon that completely shattered my view on a person that I once considered to be a hero of the Bible.
That man was Job. When most of us think of Job, we think of the man who did no wrong, yet lost everything. One who remained faithful to God, and whose life was restored to him at the end of his days. However, if we dig a bit deeper, we find that that's not actually the case.
At the beginning of his life, Job did not know God. He was arrogant, self-righteous, and had no understanding of God's heart. Sounds a bit like someone else I know...
Don't believe me? Let's go take a look at Job 1. It says that he was blameless before God, that he feared God and shunned evil. On the surface, it looks pretty good. But if we look at the Hebrew roots of these words, we come to an interesting conclusion. The word translated as blameless or righteous actually means self-righteous. He prided himself on the fact that he did no wrong. The word used here for the fear of the Lord means just that: FEAR. Not the awe-filled reverence for His holiness; outright terror of God. And if we go a bit further down in the chapter, we understand why. Job didn't know God's heart. We read a story about how his kids would have huge celebrations all the time. Like, massive, leave-nothing-undone, no-wine-untasted kind of raging parties. And whenever they would finish, Job would get up the next morning and offer sacrifices to God for them, in case they sinned. Again on the surface, some may say "Well, Job was being a good dad, looking out for the well-being of his kids." But look at his actions. If Job truly understood God's heart, he would know that God desires obedience from the heart, not sacrifices.
We see this lack of understanding continue even after Job has everything stripped away from him. Instead of recognizing his own pride and seeking God's forgiveness and mercy, he basically shakes his fist at God and says "I want my day in court!"
Quite the switch from the humble, can-do-no-wrong guy normally portrayed, huh? Yet I see such a similarity to my own selfish heart in his story.
So you may be wondering, what is the rest of his story about? I believe the point of his story is simply this: God will do whatever it takes to bring you back to Him.
I mean, let's take a look at the rest of the story. God could have looked at Job's arrogant heart and moved on. Instead, He basically says "Hey, I love this man, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to bring his prideful heart back to Me." So what does He do? He starts baiting Satan. When Satan comes before God, He says "Hey, have you checked out Job lately?" And what is Satan's knee-jerk response to someone God's interested in? "God wants him? I'll kill him!" I love this. God uses His enemy to bring about a man's redemption. Though this seems to be a recurring theme throughout the Bible... :) So God allows Satan to strip Job of everything he has, everything he is. And for a while, Job's arrogance continues, but eventually, he comes face to face with the living God and falls down in awe of His mercy and holiness.
And at the end of the day, Job not only has his life restored to him, but he has his heart of stone replaced with a heart of flesh.
So my encouragement for you today is this: my God is relentlessly pursuing you. He will stop at nothing to have all of you.
That's how much He loves you.
That man was Job. When most of us think of Job, we think of the man who did no wrong, yet lost everything. One who remained faithful to God, and whose life was restored to him at the end of his days. However, if we dig a bit deeper, we find that that's not actually the case.
At the beginning of his life, Job did not know God. He was arrogant, self-righteous, and had no understanding of God's heart. Sounds a bit like someone else I know...
Don't believe me? Let's go take a look at Job 1. It says that he was blameless before God, that he feared God and shunned evil. On the surface, it looks pretty good. But if we look at the Hebrew roots of these words, we come to an interesting conclusion. The word translated as blameless or righteous actually means self-righteous. He prided himself on the fact that he did no wrong. The word used here for the fear of the Lord means just that: FEAR. Not the awe-filled reverence for His holiness; outright terror of God. And if we go a bit further down in the chapter, we understand why. Job didn't know God's heart. We read a story about how his kids would have huge celebrations all the time. Like, massive, leave-nothing-undone, no-wine-untasted kind of raging parties. And whenever they would finish, Job would get up the next morning and offer sacrifices to God for them, in case they sinned. Again on the surface, some may say "Well, Job was being a good dad, looking out for the well-being of his kids." But look at his actions. If Job truly understood God's heart, he would know that God desires obedience from the heart, not sacrifices.
We see this lack of understanding continue even after Job has everything stripped away from him. Instead of recognizing his own pride and seeking God's forgiveness and mercy, he basically shakes his fist at God and says "I want my day in court!"
Quite the switch from the humble, can-do-no-wrong guy normally portrayed, huh? Yet I see such a similarity to my own selfish heart in his story.
So you may be wondering, what is the rest of his story about? I believe the point of his story is simply this: God will do whatever it takes to bring you back to Him.
I mean, let's take a look at the rest of the story. God could have looked at Job's arrogant heart and moved on. Instead, He basically says "Hey, I love this man, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to bring his prideful heart back to Me." So what does He do? He starts baiting Satan. When Satan comes before God, He says "Hey, have you checked out Job lately?" And what is Satan's knee-jerk response to someone God's interested in? "God wants him? I'll kill him!" I love this. God uses His enemy to bring about a man's redemption. Though this seems to be a recurring theme throughout the Bible... :) So God allows Satan to strip Job of everything he has, everything he is. And for a while, Job's arrogance continues, but eventually, he comes face to face with the living God and falls down in awe of His mercy and holiness.
And at the end of the day, Job not only has his life restored to him, but he has his heart of stone replaced with a heart of flesh.
So my encouragement for you today is this: my God is relentlessly pursuing you. He will stop at nothing to have all of you.
That's how much He loves you.
12.19.2012
No one mourns the wicked
Yes, that title is also the title to a song in a rather popular musical. And yes, it's been running through my head for the last week. And actually, it's made its way to my heart. And wrecked it. Funny how God works sometimes...
For those of you who don't know, "No one mourns the wicked" is a song from the musical Wicked. And for the record. It's a fantastic musical. It's the back-story of the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz. It will change your perspective on the entire story. And the set and stage production are enough to make my jaw bleed from scraping the ground for so long.
But anyhow.
This song is one of the first sung in the musical. It's an ensemble piece right after the Wicked Witch is killed. Some of the lyrics say "No one mourns the wicked. No one cries 'They won't return!'... Goodness knows the wickeds' lives are lonely..." and so forth. Truth? Yes. Problem? Well, actually I think the problem is the answer to that question. Most would say no. But I think the answer should be a resounding yes. Since when did we get so cold and proud as to celebrate when the wicked die? When their lonely lives come to an abrupt, violent end? When their hearts are so desperately lonely and disappointed by the harsh judgment bestowed on them that they lash out and do the only thing they see fit?
Now just to be clear. I am not, by any means, justifying wicked acts. Sin is sin, and it must be dealt with. What I am saying is that maybe, just maybe, if we would reach out to the wicked in love and mercy, maybe they wouldn't see wickedness as their only means of escape. Ever heard the old adage, "love the sinner, hate the sin"? I think as Christians we've forgotten that. Jesus didn't come to the world to condemn it. He came to save it. Sin will be judged. Each one of us will be held accountable. But instead of celebrating when people like Saddam Hussein or Ted Bundy die, what if we actually heard, and felt, the heart of Jesus and wept over them? And what if we took it a step further and reached out before they got to that point?
Maybe if someone mourned the wicked, the wicked wouldn't be so wicked.
For those of you who don't know, "No one mourns the wicked" is a song from the musical Wicked. And for the record. It's a fantastic musical. It's the back-story of the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz. It will change your perspective on the entire story. And the set and stage production are enough to make my jaw bleed from scraping the ground for so long.
But anyhow.
This song is one of the first sung in the musical. It's an ensemble piece right after the Wicked Witch is killed. Some of the lyrics say "No one mourns the wicked. No one cries 'They won't return!'... Goodness knows the wickeds' lives are lonely..." and so forth. Truth? Yes. Problem? Well, actually I think the problem is the answer to that question. Most would say no. But I think the answer should be a resounding yes. Since when did we get so cold and proud as to celebrate when the wicked die? When their lonely lives come to an abrupt, violent end? When their hearts are so desperately lonely and disappointed by the harsh judgment bestowed on them that they lash out and do the only thing they see fit?
Now just to be clear. I am not, by any means, justifying wicked acts. Sin is sin, and it must be dealt with. What I am saying is that maybe, just maybe, if we would reach out to the wicked in love and mercy, maybe they wouldn't see wickedness as their only means of escape. Ever heard the old adage, "love the sinner, hate the sin"? I think as Christians we've forgotten that. Jesus didn't come to the world to condemn it. He came to save it. Sin will be judged. Each one of us will be held accountable. But instead of celebrating when people like Saddam Hussein or Ted Bundy die, what if we actually heard, and felt, the heart of Jesus and wept over them? And what if we took it a step further and reached out before they got to that point?
Maybe if someone mourned the wicked, the wicked wouldn't be so wicked.
8.24.2012
To Be Faithful
I'm a senior.
This is my last year as a college student.
My last one.
Sometimes I thought this day would never come. It still sounds weird coming out of my mouth. I only have 9 more months on campus.
That fact has been hitting me hardcore these last couple of weeks. And with it comes the question, "How will I make it count?" Am I living in such a way that people will know I love and serve Jesus - even if I never say a word? What kind of impact have I had on people - and how much of an impact will I have this year? How do I make this count?
I've heard a very interesting thought process on this over the past few years. Many leaders I know and greatly respect have kind of taken possession of the phrase "Leave nothing undone." Their philosophy has been something to this extent: "Do everything you can now, and pour all you are into everything you do; because the last thing you want is to walk away from this campus thinking 'I could have done more.' Leave nothing undone."
And while I agree to an extent on the fact that we do need to give everything we are, I think sometimes we get too wrapped up in making sure we're doing everything we can. But let's take a moment to look at the ultimate model of what our life should look like: the life of Jesus Himself. He did a lot - understatement, actually. He did SO much; healed the sick, raised the dead, discipled the foundation of the church, preached to thousands upon thousands, etc., etc. But the thing is, when you really stop to think about it, Jesus could have done more. He could have reached more people, fed more crowds, healed more sick... He could have. But the thing is, even though He didn't do everything He could do, He did everything He was supposed to do.
See the difference?
My life is not about doing everything I can do. It's about being faithful to do everything I'm supposed to do. I'm not so concerned with looking back at my college career and thinking "Well I could have given more time, money, effort, etc, into (fill in the blank)," as I am concerned with looking back and thinking "I was supposed to do (whatever) and didn't." Because let's be honest. If I give absolutely everything I am into everything around me, just for the sake of "leaving nothing undone," I'm eventually going to spread myself so thin that I'll be rendered useless in every area. And yes, sometimes that means not doing what would seem to be the "ideal" ministry service. Maybe, instead of going to that social event where you would potentially meet 6 new people who would want to join your small group, it means going and studying with that one classmate who's been contemplating suicide - until you stepped in and showed that you cared. Or maybe it means washing dishes or tearing a stage down after a meal or service instead of socializing with everyone. The "best" ministry is not always the most obvious, or the most (seemingly) fruitful. I don't really care how far I reach; I care about reaching in the right direction. A very wise pastor of mine once said "Your reward is not based on your call; it's based on your faithfulness." It doesn't matter what your ministry looks like, or how many things you're pouring into; what matters is giving everything you are into what God's called you to pour into. Anything else is a waste of time and effort.
And just remember, no matter what God's called you to do, He'll take care of the results. All you have to do is be faithful.
This is my last year as a college student.
My last one.
Sometimes I thought this day would never come. It still sounds weird coming out of my mouth. I only have 9 more months on campus.
That fact has been hitting me hardcore these last couple of weeks. And with it comes the question, "How will I make it count?" Am I living in such a way that people will know I love and serve Jesus - even if I never say a word? What kind of impact have I had on people - and how much of an impact will I have this year? How do I make this count?
I've heard a very interesting thought process on this over the past few years. Many leaders I know and greatly respect have kind of taken possession of the phrase "Leave nothing undone." Their philosophy has been something to this extent: "Do everything you can now, and pour all you are into everything you do; because the last thing you want is to walk away from this campus thinking 'I could have done more.' Leave nothing undone."
And while I agree to an extent on the fact that we do need to give everything we are, I think sometimes we get too wrapped up in making sure we're doing everything we can. But let's take a moment to look at the ultimate model of what our life should look like: the life of Jesus Himself. He did a lot - understatement, actually. He did SO much; healed the sick, raised the dead, discipled the foundation of the church, preached to thousands upon thousands, etc., etc. But the thing is, when you really stop to think about it, Jesus could have done more. He could have reached more people, fed more crowds, healed more sick... He could have. But the thing is, even though He didn't do everything He could do, He did everything He was supposed to do.
See the difference?
My life is not about doing everything I can do. It's about being faithful to do everything I'm supposed to do. I'm not so concerned with looking back at my college career and thinking "Well I could have given more time, money, effort, etc, into (fill in the blank)," as I am concerned with looking back and thinking "I was supposed to do (whatever) and didn't." Because let's be honest. If I give absolutely everything I am into everything around me, just for the sake of "leaving nothing undone," I'm eventually going to spread myself so thin that I'll be rendered useless in every area. And yes, sometimes that means not doing what would seem to be the "ideal" ministry service. Maybe, instead of going to that social event where you would potentially meet 6 new people who would want to join your small group, it means going and studying with that one classmate who's been contemplating suicide - until you stepped in and showed that you cared. Or maybe it means washing dishes or tearing a stage down after a meal or service instead of socializing with everyone. The "best" ministry is not always the most obvious, or the most (seemingly) fruitful. I don't really care how far I reach; I care about reaching in the right direction. A very wise pastor of mine once said "Your reward is not based on your call; it's based on your faithfulness." It doesn't matter what your ministry looks like, or how many things you're pouring into; what matters is giving everything you are into what God's called you to pour into. Anything else is a waste of time and effort.
And just remember, no matter what God's called you to do, He'll take care of the results. All you have to do is be faithful.
4.23.2012
Condemnation vs. Restoration
Elijah has become one of my biggest biblical heroes lately. This man's life challenges and inspires me like no other. More than that, who he was resonates deeply within my soul. His story has been teaching me a lot lately, so I want to share a bit of it with you.
If you've never read 1 Kings 18 and 19, go read it. Before you read any further here. Done? Alright. Quite the story, huh? So much can be taken from both chapters, but I want to focus on the latter part. So, to sum it up, basically God works through Elijah to totally destroy the priests of Baal and show Israel who's really on the throne; then within 24 hours Jezebel gets so mad she sends word to Elijah saying she's gonna kill him. Nice lady. Elijah gets scared and runs into the desert, completely hopeless and frustrated.
Story. Of. My Life. God does something absolutely incredible in my life or through me - something tangible, something that leaves me speechless at His utter awesomeness. Then within a day, the enemy attacks and leaves me feeling hopeless and helpless. And what to I do? I run into the desert. I get frustrated and my perspective gets wayyy off base. I throw a pity party. Seriously. Happens All. The. Time.
And every time it does, I have this idea in my head that God's probably looking at me, shaking His head, saying "Really Andrea? Did you not see what I JUST did not even a day ago? Have you forgotten already? Come on, girl. Get your priorities straight. Fix your perspective." That's what I thought when I read Elijah's story the other day, too. In fact, I expected that to be the outcome; never mind the fact that I've ready this story probably a hundred times. But guess what? That's not God's response at all. When Elijah first collapsed under the broom tree in the desert, after telling God he may as well die because his life is worthless, God does the opposite of what Elijah deserved. He sent an angel to bring him food and tell him to rest. For two days food was provided and Elijah rested. Sometimes all we really need is to rest. I get teased about it a lot sometimes, but one thing this semester has taught me is to value my rest. There are times that I skip social events, church events, and yes, even class once in a while, simply because I need the sleep. I know I can function on low amounts of sleep, but everyone around me pays for it. And it's not fair for them to have to put up with my short temper and wild emotions just because I'm tired. It's amazing how often I'll go to bed near tears for whatever reason, and after a decent night's sleep, will wake up with a completely different attitude.
After Elijah had rested, God came and asked him what was going on. Still frustrated, Elijah basically said "Dude, I'm sick of all of this. I'm trying my best to live for You, but it's not worth it anymore. I'm the only one left serving You, and now the queen's after my life too! What the heck did You put me here for?!" And once again, God didn't get on his case and correct him. He simply said "Come outside, because My presence is passing by." Wow. How quick we are to forget that His presence is truly ALL we need. In His presence is fullness of joy, and that joy is our strength. We're made whole in His presence. Our fellowship with Him is restored. We are made righteous by touching His holiness. It just amazes me that God didn't even say "Get your attitude right, and then come into My presence." He just said "Come." I know that it's His presence that makes us right again, but I still struggle with the mentality that I have to clean myself up before I can approach Him. But He simply wants me.
And when Elijah did enter into God's presence, he still found no condemnation. God asked him again what was going on, and Elijah said the exact same thing. Yet instead of correcting Elijah, even now that they were together, God simply restored Elijah's vision and purpose. He told him where to go and what to do - He also showed Elijah that he wasn't alone in serving God. And here too I see a parallel in my own life. When I am in God's presence, my vision is restored. He shows me the plans He has for me, and gently redirects my focus onto what really matters. And very often He'll send people along to encourage me. But there's never condemnation. "There is therefore, now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)
Now, does that mean that we shouldn't strive to remember and stand on God's past faithfulness? Of course not. That very practice is foundational to our ability to stand in the hard times. And I'm not saying God never disciplines us. The only way to be made holy is to have what's unholy stripped away. What I am saying is that we need to remember to run to His presence when we're frustrated. And never, ever feel like you should be feeling or thinking differently. God will take care of that, too. And with no condemnation - instead, He'll completely restore your fellowship with Him.
If you've never read 1 Kings 18 and 19, go read it. Before you read any further here. Done? Alright. Quite the story, huh? So much can be taken from both chapters, but I want to focus on the latter part. So, to sum it up, basically God works through Elijah to totally destroy the priests of Baal and show Israel who's really on the throne; then within 24 hours Jezebel gets so mad she sends word to Elijah saying she's gonna kill him. Nice lady. Elijah gets scared and runs into the desert, completely hopeless and frustrated.
Story. Of. My Life. God does something absolutely incredible in my life or through me - something tangible, something that leaves me speechless at His utter awesomeness. Then within a day, the enemy attacks and leaves me feeling hopeless and helpless. And what to I do? I run into the desert. I get frustrated and my perspective gets wayyy off base. I throw a pity party. Seriously. Happens All. The. Time.
And every time it does, I have this idea in my head that God's probably looking at me, shaking His head, saying "Really Andrea? Did you not see what I JUST did not even a day ago? Have you forgotten already? Come on, girl. Get your priorities straight. Fix your perspective." That's what I thought when I read Elijah's story the other day, too. In fact, I expected that to be the outcome; never mind the fact that I've ready this story probably a hundred times. But guess what? That's not God's response at all. When Elijah first collapsed under the broom tree in the desert, after telling God he may as well die because his life is worthless, God does the opposite of what Elijah deserved. He sent an angel to bring him food and tell him to rest. For two days food was provided and Elijah rested. Sometimes all we really need is to rest. I get teased about it a lot sometimes, but one thing this semester has taught me is to value my rest. There are times that I skip social events, church events, and yes, even class once in a while, simply because I need the sleep. I know I can function on low amounts of sleep, but everyone around me pays for it. And it's not fair for them to have to put up with my short temper and wild emotions just because I'm tired. It's amazing how often I'll go to bed near tears for whatever reason, and after a decent night's sleep, will wake up with a completely different attitude.
After Elijah had rested, God came and asked him what was going on. Still frustrated, Elijah basically said "Dude, I'm sick of all of this. I'm trying my best to live for You, but it's not worth it anymore. I'm the only one left serving You, and now the queen's after my life too! What the heck did You put me here for?!" And once again, God didn't get on his case and correct him. He simply said "Come outside, because My presence is passing by." Wow. How quick we are to forget that His presence is truly ALL we need. In His presence is fullness of joy, and that joy is our strength. We're made whole in His presence. Our fellowship with Him is restored. We are made righteous by touching His holiness. It just amazes me that God didn't even say "Get your attitude right, and then come into My presence." He just said "Come." I know that it's His presence that makes us right again, but I still struggle with the mentality that I have to clean myself up before I can approach Him. But He simply wants me.
And when Elijah did enter into God's presence, he still found no condemnation. God asked him again what was going on, and Elijah said the exact same thing. Yet instead of correcting Elijah, even now that they were together, God simply restored Elijah's vision and purpose. He told him where to go and what to do - He also showed Elijah that he wasn't alone in serving God. And here too I see a parallel in my own life. When I am in God's presence, my vision is restored. He shows me the plans He has for me, and gently redirects my focus onto what really matters. And very often He'll send people along to encourage me. But there's never condemnation. "There is therefore, now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)
Now, does that mean that we shouldn't strive to remember and stand on God's past faithfulness? Of course not. That very practice is foundational to our ability to stand in the hard times. And I'm not saying God never disciplines us. The only way to be made holy is to have what's unholy stripped away. What I am saying is that we need to remember to run to His presence when we're frustrated. And never, ever feel like you should be feeling or thinking differently. God will take care of that, too. And with no condemnation - instead, He'll completely restore your fellowship with Him.
4.13.2012
Keep Seeking
I've made it a goal to try to blog at least once a week. The combination of having no extra time to write and yet having so much to say made me think maybe an hour once a week would be a good goal. But as I sit here tonight, no words or profound thoughts are coming. I just want God's presence. I crave it. There are no words that describe the hunger in my soul right now. I am made whole in His presence. My vision is restored. My perspective adjusted. My joy and contentment overflowing.
Yet how often do I actually go to that place - that place where I sit in His presence and don't leave until I am changed? Not nearly enough. All too often I make my quiet time an item on my to-do list - if that. If I'm being totally honest here, there are days that I blow it off and don't even spend five intentional minutes with the One I call my best friend. And when I do that, it shows. My life seems to fall apart at the seams. The smallest things bother me. I get frustrated when my friends let me down after expecting them to give me what only He can. I burn out and blow everything out of proportion.
Like today. By this afternoon, I was upset at a couple of my dearest friends, through no fault of their own. I was searching in them for something they are not responsible for giving me. I was complaining about school, about life, and everything else I could think of. And as I sat on my bed trying to figure out why I was in such a bad mood, I finally stopped long enough to hear God say "Umm, hello. I'm still here waiting. MY presence is what you need - not anything else." So I turned on some worship music and grabbed my Bible. I started at my default place - the Psalms. Seriously. If you ever need a place to let out any emotion or just be reminded to praise God for who He is.... Soo pretty much any time any where, go read the Psalms. Twenty minutes later I was worshiping and letting God fill me again. His presence is what I need. It's all I seek. To sit at His feet and let Him overwhelm me and send me to my knees and leave me speechless is what will change me. What makes me like Him. I can't be made into the image of someone I don't spend any time with.
Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to fill our little cup with water from our own sources that we don't realize God's trying to give us His ocean. If I could leave you with one thought for the day, it would be this: Seek His presence first. And always. It's the only thing that truly satisfies. Let go of your other sources of joy, of vision, of direction. When you're confused or burned out or frustrated, go lock yourself in your room, grab your Bible, put on some worship music if you want, and just seek God. And if you're seeking Him and hearing or feeling or seeing nothing, keep seeking Him. Turn your phone off and put your computer away and don't leave until you've been changed. If you've truly spent time in God's manifest presence, it will show. Always. He honors the heart that truly seeks Him. He shows up. And nothing is ever the same.
"Keep on asking, and it will be given to you. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you." ~Matthew 7:7
Yet how often do I actually go to that place - that place where I sit in His presence and don't leave until I am changed? Not nearly enough. All too often I make my quiet time an item on my to-do list - if that. If I'm being totally honest here, there are days that I blow it off and don't even spend five intentional minutes with the One I call my best friend. And when I do that, it shows. My life seems to fall apart at the seams. The smallest things bother me. I get frustrated when my friends let me down after expecting them to give me what only He can. I burn out and blow everything out of proportion.
Like today. By this afternoon, I was upset at a couple of my dearest friends, through no fault of their own. I was searching in them for something they are not responsible for giving me. I was complaining about school, about life, and everything else I could think of. And as I sat on my bed trying to figure out why I was in such a bad mood, I finally stopped long enough to hear God say "Umm, hello. I'm still here waiting. MY presence is what you need - not anything else." So I turned on some worship music and grabbed my Bible. I started at my default place - the Psalms. Seriously. If you ever need a place to let out any emotion or just be reminded to praise God for who He is.... Soo pretty much any time any where, go read the Psalms. Twenty minutes later I was worshiping and letting God fill me again. His presence is what I need. It's all I seek. To sit at His feet and let Him overwhelm me and send me to my knees and leave me speechless is what will change me. What makes me like Him. I can't be made into the image of someone I don't spend any time with.
Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to fill our little cup with water from our own sources that we don't realize God's trying to give us His ocean. If I could leave you with one thought for the day, it would be this: Seek His presence first. And always. It's the only thing that truly satisfies. Let go of your other sources of joy, of vision, of direction. When you're confused or burned out or frustrated, go lock yourself in your room, grab your Bible, put on some worship music if you want, and just seek God. And if you're seeking Him and hearing or feeling or seeing nothing, keep seeking Him. Turn your phone off and put your computer away and don't leave until you've been changed. If you've truly spent time in God's manifest presence, it will show. Always. He honors the heart that truly seeks Him. He shows up. And nothing is ever the same.
"Keep on asking, and it will be given to you. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you." ~Matthew 7:7
4.07.2012
If God has a time machine
Have you ever wished you could go back in time and actually be at some event? To see, hear, and feel firsthand the circumstances that took place? I know I have. Probably on a daily basis. I can think of at least a dozen historical events that I would love to see.
I really hope God has a time machine in heaven. Either that, or a video library documenting every single moment of this life. And really, why couldn't He do something like that? He's outside of time, and someday we'll be outside of time. I want to see so many things. The flood, the giving of the Law, Daniel in the lion's den, or Jesus' birth. The look on Columbus' face when he discovered America, or the signing of the Constitution. Even better, when my parents first met, or when my grandpa finally surrendered his life to Jesus.
But there is one moment that I want to see more than anything in the world. I want to see the very instant when the devil realized he had lost - completely and eternally. I wonder if it was as soon as Jesus said "It is finished," or if he didn't get it until Jesus walked up to him and took the keys of death and hell from his hand. What was running through his mind as Jesus dragged him through the pits of hell, making a public display of his utter ruin? What did the demons think while they took in the confident smile and fierce eyes of the One who held their leader captive? How great the song of victory must have been as it came from the saints while Jesus finally freed them and led them safely to His Father's arms. I can only imagine the tears that must have fallen from the Father's eyes as He and His Son saw the atonement and reconciliation between God and man finally made whole.
If God has a time machine, I want to see the moment that changed the course of eternity.
"I AM the First and the Last. I AM the Living One; I was dead, and behold, I AM alive forevermore! And I hold the keys to death and hell." (Revelation 1:18)
I really hope God has a time machine in heaven. Either that, or a video library documenting every single moment of this life. And really, why couldn't He do something like that? He's outside of time, and someday we'll be outside of time. I want to see so many things. The flood, the giving of the Law, Daniel in the lion's den, or Jesus' birth. The look on Columbus' face when he discovered America, or the signing of the Constitution. Even better, when my parents first met, or when my grandpa finally surrendered his life to Jesus.
But there is one moment that I want to see more than anything in the world. I want to see the very instant when the devil realized he had lost - completely and eternally. I wonder if it was as soon as Jesus said "It is finished," or if he didn't get it until Jesus walked up to him and took the keys of death and hell from his hand. What was running through his mind as Jesus dragged him through the pits of hell, making a public display of his utter ruin? What did the demons think while they took in the confident smile and fierce eyes of the One who held their leader captive? How great the song of victory must have been as it came from the saints while Jesus finally freed them and led them safely to His Father's arms. I can only imagine the tears that must have fallen from the Father's eyes as He and His Son saw the atonement and reconciliation between God and man finally made whole.
If God has a time machine, I want to see the moment that changed the course of eternity.
"I AM the First and the Last. I AM the Living One; I was dead, and behold, I AM alive forevermore! And I hold the keys to death and hell." (Revelation 1:18)
4.01.2012
Jump
Waiting.
Wondering. Falling. Flying.
Praying. Hoping. Trusting.
Waiting.
Will I fall? Will I hit something? Will someone catch me? Or will I learn to fly?
These and a thousand more thoughts run through my head while I sit here. Waiting.
His voice whispered "Jump."
I stepped back. Fearful. Not yet, Lord. I can't.
"Jump."
I crept forward. Looked over the edge. Can I see the ground? Is someone there?
Utter darkness. I can't see where I'll land.
If I'll land.
"Trust Me." But Lord, I can't see where I'm going. What if I can't fly?
"Trust Me. Just jump."
I turn around and look at the road that brought me here. To this place. This ledge. This dead end - unless I jump.
A multitude of successes and failures. A crooked, broken path. The places where He carried me. The places where I carried someone else. The dark places. The valleys. The smaller leaps.
And suddenly, I know.
This was His intention.
The road didn't break.
He removed it.
Because I'm ready.
He brought me here. In His time. He made me strong. Ready.
Ready to jump.
Not knowing what will happen.
Not caring.
I might fall. But He'll catch me.
I might fly. And He'll guide me.
But this is where I belong.
Letting go. Jumping. Leaving the results in His hands.
I turn back around. Look at the ledge. The darkness.
Knowing. Smiling.
And I jump.
Wondering. Falling. Flying.
Praying. Hoping. Trusting.
Waiting.
Will I fall? Will I hit something? Will someone catch me? Or will I learn to fly?
These and a thousand more thoughts run through my head while I sit here. Waiting.
His voice whispered "Jump."
I stepped back. Fearful. Not yet, Lord. I can't.
"Jump."
I crept forward. Looked over the edge. Can I see the ground? Is someone there?
Utter darkness. I can't see where I'll land.
If I'll land.
"Trust Me." But Lord, I can't see where I'm going. What if I can't fly?
"Trust Me. Just jump."
I turn around and look at the road that brought me here. To this place. This ledge. This dead end - unless I jump.
A multitude of successes and failures. A crooked, broken path. The places where He carried me. The places where I carried someone else. The dark places. The valleys. The smaller leaps.
And suddenly, I know.
This was His intention.
The road didn't break.
He removed it.
Because I'm ready.
He brought me here. In His time. He made me strong. Ready.
Ready to jump.
Not knowing what will happen.
Not caring.
I might fall. But He'll catch me.
I might fly. And He'll guide me.
But this is where I belong.
Letting go. Jumping. Leaving the results in His hands.
I turn back around. Look at the ledge. The darkness.
Knowing. Smiling.
And I jump.
11.09.2011
One Generation
These last few weeks I have been hearing more and more people speak of the state our nation is in, and their opinion on the solution. They are mostly friends of mine, though some are just random things I find on the internet. All of them are from a Christian perspective, believing that the only way anything will ever be fixed is if this nation turns back to God and repents of its ways. While I definitely agree on that particular point, I am heartbroken at their thought process, which is basically something along the lines of "It's going to take thousands of families raising up generation after generation of families who walk in the fear of the Lord to ever see visible changes in the culture." It's been said in different ways in different contexts, but that's the gist of it.
How utterly heart wrenching. To be so completely blind to the raw power of the Holy Spirit that you are convinced it will take generations upon generations to change the heart of a culture.
Let me share something with you.
Jesus changed the world.
He was one person.
He lived for 33 years.
He changed the world.
In less time than is required to be considered a generation, the entire known world was radically changed.
Because One.
Knew.
The power.
And He imparted it to us.
Don't even try to tell me "Well obviously Jesus could do it; He's God!" True. However. When He came to earth He gave up His divine nature and became fully man. He had to function in communication with His Father the same way we do. Because otherwise it would have been cheating. He couldn't have kept part of His divinity and then told us to live the same way without it.
But He was empowered by the Holy Spirit. He knew His identity, and He knew His purpose: the Son of God, born to bring Heaven to earth. (Matthew 6:10)
He gave us the same mission. Our mandate is simple: Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons (Matthew 10:8). Not of ourselves, but through the power of the Holy Spirit working in and through us.
It's actually really easy. Be obedient, trust God, and miracles happen. Period. If you don't trust God to invade the impossible now, how can you say you believe He will after thousands of generations? "Well, God will be more free to move after hundreds of thousands of believers have been raised up." Mmm…. I disagree. Numbers have nothing to do with the moving of God to change the hearts of people. The Spirit may be more openly welcome in those instances, but this generation has a desperate hunger for a radical encounter with the living God, and we say "Well you'll have to just raise your kids to serve God so they can raise their kids….. Until God moves in the culture" No. Not on my watch. I refuse to put the responsibility of bringing people into an encounter with the power of God on the generations to come. It happens now. Freedom happens now. Healing happens now. Chains are broken now.
And don't tell me the miraculous power of God was only for Jesus, or only for the early church. God is the same yesterday, today, and FOREVER. He doesn't change His methods. Radical encounter with the raw power of God is still His modus operandi. I am living proof of that. I can tell story after story of how God has healed me, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And not only me, but those around me.
When I was fourteen, I tore a ligament in my wrist. But instead of having to go through eight weeks of a cast above my elbow and months of PT, God healed it, and to this day I've had no problems.
My freshman year of college I had a really bad flare-up of bursitis in my shoulder, which I'd dealt with throughout high school because of sports. It usually happened 2-3 times a year, but that time it had gotten so bad I couldn't even carry my backpack across campus because it hurt so much. Once again, God intervened and it hasn't hurt since.
And this summer, it got even better. My entire life I've been lactose intolerant; therefore, no milk, no ice cream, limited cheese and yogurt, etc. Two of my friends prayed for me one night this summer and since then I've eaten….. Ohh, a lottt of ice cream, and had plenty of milk. With no issues. And believe me, even the month before I had tried to eat some to see if I had just outgrown it. Nope. BAD choice. I got sooo sick.
Last January one of my small group girls' grandpa got radically healed of esophageal cancer.
In July my little brother got healed from chronic headaches.
I could go on. In three months we saw multiple healings from cancer that was expected to take lives. Chronic back problems, asthma, four people in one month got healed of lactose intolerance. This last month has been crazy-full of God stories. And on and on it goes.
My. God. Heals.
When I came to college, I was broken, insecure, and alone. God broke through the walls I put up and healed things in my past I'd never dealt with before; He brought me into a family that showed me love like I'd never seen; and He has shown me how to walk in confidence of who I am as a daughter of the KING.
In less than six months God has radically transformed my brothers and they have become world changers. One of them is preaching at the largest, most God-centered, and anointed youth group in Fargo tonight.
Bible studies are happening on the high school campuses in Fargo/Moorhead. Healings are a regular occurrence downtown and at the skate parks. Walk across NDSU and you'll see crutches being thrown in the garbage because they're not needed anymore. I can't even study in the Union in the evenings anymore because the whole place is filled with Bible studies. No exaggeration. Seriously. It's almost frustrating, but the reason is way too amazing for me to complain. And worship nights happen almost every night.
This city is getting rocked.
And it doesn't stop here.
It takes one person.
One person being so passionately filled with the Holy Spirit that they will not stop seeking a move of God until they get it. The thing you need to remember is that the supernatural realm is God's natural realm. And that's the realm we are commanded to operate in. We trust God so much that we can jump head-first into a situation where we will fall flat on our faces unless God shows up. Give Him that kind of faith, and I promise you, He will show up.
One person.
One person to be Jesus to one other person. To refuse to stand by and be the "average" Christian who goes to church and reads their Bible and sticks to their little comfort zone of "Christian" friends. To bring one other person into an encounter with the living God. To be the channel God uses to change one life.
And then that person takes it to the next.
Repeat.
See a pattern?
It doesn't take long for a fire to spread.
Just one person willing to burn.
Other cities in North Dakota are catching fire. It's spreading. Northern Cali is getting rocked. An entire culture is being transformed because we have a generation of people who are so hungry for a move of God that they refuse to wait any longer.
In less than a generation, the early church moved throughout the known world and proclaimed the name of Christ. They brought healing, deliverance, freedom, and salvation. They ROCKED their cities.
We have more people. And the same Power.
What's our excuse?
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