I've made it a goal to try to blog at least once a week. The combination of having no extra time to write and yet having so much to say made me think maybe an hour once a week would be a good goal. But as I sit here tonight, no words or profound thoughts are coming. I just want God's presence. I crave it. There are no words that describe the hunger in my soul right now. I am made whole in His presence. My vision is restored. My perspective adjusted. My joy and contentment overflowing.
Yet how often do I actually go to that place - that place where I sit in His presence and don't leave until I am changed? Not nearly enough. All too often I make my quiet time an item on my to-do list - if that. If I'm being totally honest here, there are days that I blow it off and don't even spend five intentional minutes with the One I call my best friend. And when I do that, it shows. My life seems to fall apart at the seams. The smallest things bother me. I get frustrated when my friends let me down after expecting them to give me what only He can. I burn out and blow everything out of proportion.
Like today. By this afternoon, I was upset at a couple of my dearest friends, through no fault of their own. I was searching in them for something they are not responsible for giving me. I was complaining about school, about life, and everything else I could think of. And as I sat on my bed trying to figure out why I was in such a bad mood, I finally stopped long enough to hear God say "Umm, hello. I'm still here waiting. MY presence is what you need - not anything else." So I turned on some worship music and grabbed my Bible. I started at my default place - the Psalms. Seriously. If you ever need a place to let out any emotion or just be reminded to praise God for who He is.... Soo pretty much any time any where, go read the Psalms. Twenty minutes later I was worshiping and letting God fill me again. His presence is what I need. It's all I seek. To sit at His feet and let Him overwhelm me and send me to my knees and leave me speechless is what will change me. What makes me like Him. I can't be made into the image of someone I don't spend any time with.
Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to fill our little cup with water from our own sources that we don't realize God's trying to give us His ocean. If I could leave you with one thought for the day, it would be this: Seek His presence first. And always. It's the only thing that truly satisfies. Let go of your other sources of joy, of vision, of direction. When you're confused or burned out or frustrated, go lock yourself in your room, grab your Bible, put on some worship music if you want, and just seek God. And if you're seeking Him and hearing or feeling or seeing nothing, keep seeking Him. Turn your phone off and put your computer away and don't leave until you've been changed. If you've truly spent time in God's manifest presence, it will show. Always. He honors the heart that truly seeks Him. He shows up. And nothing is ever the same.
"Keep on asking, and it will be given to you. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you." ~Matthew 7:7
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