Running

School has just started up, and I've already hit the ground running. I didn't know it was even possible for instructors to look you in the eye, smile, and say they expect this much out of you. I told a friend yesterday that I pretty much don't have time to eat, sleep, or breathe again until May. I am not exaggerating. If you saw the list of homework and studying I already have to do you'd probably think I was lying. Nursing school is finally hitting full force. And I am loving it.

But the only reason I can say that I love it is because of what God did in my life right before school started. This past Sunday, the day before the semester started, I started having a mini meltdown about school. Panic started coursing through me and I began to wonder what in the world I had gotten myself into. Then Sunday night, as I was spending time in God's presence after church, in one instant He completely overwhelmed me with an indescribable peace and joy about the whole thing. Later that night I was just sitting with a friend, not really saying anything, when she commented "You're just so peaceful right now." I had to smile as I thought, "Yeah, right now. But if you had seen me about 10 minutes ago..." Then Monday I was in the nursing lab printing off about ten thousand pages worth of stuff, talking with classmates, when it hit me again and again I started feeling overwhelmed. That was when I stopped and realized "Okay, right now I have a choice. I can either choose to let this consume me, terrify me, and burn me out; or I can choose to run to God right now, lay it down, and let Him take care of it." Guess which one I chose? :)

Monday night a friend shared an analogy with me that has really struck a chord with me. Basically, she compared my life to a vase, full of God's joy, and peace, and love. This semester is going to be a hard one, and there will constantly be things trying to crack that vase and drain me of everything God has for me; whether it be schoolwork, family issues, classmates/friends getting on my nerves, etc. But as long as I always run to God first and foremost to be filled again, I'll never run dry, and I'll never burn out. That is so true, and so exactly what I've been learning. It's easy to try to deal with the "little" things on my own, but it's so important for me to run to God first. Always, always, always run to God. He's the only One that can carry me through this.

I want to leave you with the lyrics to a song that has become one of my favorites lately. It's called Running, and it is exactly what I'm learning to do.

I hear the voice
The voice of the One I love
He's calling my name
(repeat)

He's saying
"Come up higher
And hear the angels sing
Come up higher
My beloved
Come up higher
And leave this world behind
You'll find Me to be beautiful"

I am running
Running after You
You've become my soul's delight
I am running
Running after You
Here with You I find my life

One thing have I desired
This will I seek after
To dwell in Your house forevermore
Now I'm running after
The thing that really matters
You've become my joy and song
You've become my joy and song
You've become my joy and song